Ineffective
by SMS13
Summary: A random story about a little ineffectiveness one night... Please read and review.. It's completley different from anything else I've written thus far (I think at least...)


Author's Notes:: Have fun with this one, I know I am... LOL Just read and review.. Tell me what you think.... I got bored and this is what came out...  
  
Usually blood doesn't bother me, I mean I've dealt with it for the past ten years. It's no big deal at all. And then suddenly today, I can't stand the sight of it. I can barely see straight, and last night's dinner is coming back up again. I hate being a doctor. My back is aching, I can't keep anything down, my boobs don't feel like sitting politely in my bra. Hell my head is aching and I'm not in the mood to dig around for some Tylenol. I reach for the clamp to block off the gushing red liquid, but I don't reach it. I feel that stomach scrunching, spilling over feeling and hand the damn thing to Susan. I rush out of there. I need air. I need to see something besides human flesh. I push through the doors, stupid people need to stop giving me looks. I park my aching body on the bench and watch the storm clouds sail across the sky. I hate humidity. I hate Chicago. I hate alot of things lately. I take a deep breath. This isn't going away. I pull myself up and head towards the bathroom. I'm going to see all the contents of my stomach within a matter of seconds, and then i'm going to get rid of the rest of it when I see the contents of my other contents. That makes no sense. I'm not supposed to make sense after a thirty-six hour shift. I lean against the cold ceramic tile on the wall, and regulate my breathing. It's not helping. I hear the door open and of course, who else but Susan decides to join me. She's so blonde, sometimes I wonder if she wrote the blonde's rule book.   
  
"Who's the father?"  
  
Way to be subtle, Susan. Nothing about me being okay, or asking if I am in deed pregnant, or if maybe I have some debilitating illness that threatens to take over my life. She just wants to know when and where I got laid last. Thanks for the concern. I knew I could always count on you. I feel my stomach turning circles, over and over again.   
  
"Uuuhhhh..."  
  
I feel my insides turn outside, I hate the taste in my mouth right now. She just stands there, watching me with these beady little green eyes, as I suffer painfully. Okay so who knew a one night stand could force me into nine months of constant pain. Defintely me. Oh well, it was probably worth it. That was some of the best sex I have ever had in my entire life.   
  
"ABBY..."  
  
I roll my eyes and move my body away from the toilet. I would like to be at home right now, in front of my own toilet, alone, with the A/C on, in a sanitary position. But that's not happening and I'm getting the third degree from the offical Dr. Barbie.   
  
"A guy."  
  
I think I passed freshman health to know that. It was an interesting course. I can vaguely remember every single dick satiating very profoundly. Oh well, right now, one of those dicks got me into this position and I'm not in the mood to sympathize with the opposite sex.   
  
"I had one, remember. I get that. Which guy?"  
  
"A guy with a dick."  
  
She rolls her eyes at me, and I send her a look. I'm not telling you. I'm still not admiting it to myself.   
  
"That elimates about, I dunno, zero percent of the male population."  
  
Very good Susan. And maybe tomorrow we can move on to what the male population does to the female population to piss them off. I push back my hair and stagger slowly from my spot. I get to the sink and throw a splash of cold water on my face.   
  
"Yup... Because you know I'm such a whore.. There's been so many of them I can't even count anymore..."  
  
She nods her head, as if that fact is the truth. I would turn around and hit her but that would require energy that I simply don't have. We hear a knock on the door and it slowly opens.   
  
"We have a trauma coming in."  
  
Thanks for noting the obvious, Carter. We need to get back to work. I have no clue what runs through that little mind of his.   
  
"Are you two okay?"  
  
I nod my head, holding on the sink for dear life. I am not running to the toilet in front of him, like that's the last thing he wants to see.   
  
"I'm okay. But Abby on the other hand, isn't that great. She was knocked up by you and now she's having morning sickness."  
  
I see her scurry out the door before I throw something very hard and heavy and deadly her way. She'll get her share later. Goddamn her. If I only had a needle and air... Or I could push her in front of the tracks... Wait... I have my car today.... The endless list of possibilities.. I could drug her too... Damn it. He's still here. Why is he still here? Can't he read the little sign that said "Women" and the little drawing of a girl? Is he that stupid?   
  
"You're pregnant?"  
  
I roll my eyes at him, watching our reflections in the mirror. I'd rather not look at him right now. Because in nine months I'm gonna have a baby that looks exactly like him and that's going to be enough for a VERY long time.   
  
"No shit, Sherlock. How did you ever pass your boards... Hell how did you ever pass high school?"  
  
He puts his hands in his pockets, he looks like he's three and just been scolded for breaking a bazillion dollar vase. With Carter's family, a bazillion dollar vase is not unusual. Is bazillion even a word? Probably is to him.   
  
"How?"  
  
I turn around, he's not just stupid, he's a moron.   
  
"Well ya know that night a few weeks ago, when your sperm decided to take a trip to visit my egg? Yeah well, around then sometime."   
  
He looks at me, more dumbfounded than ever. I wish I could slap some sense into the poor kid.   
  
"Okay, lemme make this even clearer. Your dick went between my legs."  
  
I see the smile starting to form on his lips. Yeah well guess what, in nine months I'm going to be fifty pounds heavier, with a big round belly, huge breasts, ankles the size of buttresses, and you're going to think I look like an idiot. And that's when I realize you are an idiot, but the sex was still great. Damn birth-control patch. I should have known you have to change it every two weeks to make sure it stays effective. Last time I use that. Well actually, I don't need it for the next nine months, since the purpose of the patch has been destroyed.   
  
"So... What now?"  
  
I shrugg my shoulders, for the first time in a long time I'm at a loss for words.   
  
"Didja make an appointment with OB yet?"  
  
I shake my head no. Of course not, hell I was denying it until the damn thing came out of me. I'm going to make a wonderful mother. Shut up and get out, ASAP.   
  
"I can handle this on my own, thanks. You were gone when I needed you, so now when I don't need you, you're suddenly helpful? Go off and find yourself another whore to screw because I"m not falling for your shit another time."  
  
I walk past him toward the door, he's such an idiot. I hate him. I can't stand him. I never want to see him again. I...  
  
"I love you, Abby." 


End file.
